Shaun of the Games
by Treebuscus-smosh98
Summary: Exactly as the title says! Shaun is in the Games, and he's not funking happy about it... please read... first fic.. very long one shot


Heyoo guys, sooo this is my first fanfiction, its a one-shot, a very long one shot might I add, umm review please, flames will be fed to Arceus then pooped out then fed to Ian Hecox and Antony Padilla with a serving of pink frosted sprinkle donuts. Ok, enough of me rambling. Read perweeaassee! ;D

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"Oh s!#t" the first words that come out of my mouth. It was too funking bright! In a matter of seconds, a load of others are standing in a circle with me. There is a big 'thingy-magigy' in the the center, filled with a big bunch of weapons. A bloody great big voice booms above us all. I nearly fell off the funking pedastal. 10 seconds until the Games begin. I would much rather take on a zombie apocalype anyday... At least you know your murderer... That helps right?

KA-BOOM! I look around (nearly soiling myself mind you) but there are 5 seconds my life! Some douche musta walked off early. What a Muppet. Bits of him are blown everywhere. Some squemish girl must got a face full cause she let out some big $$ shriek and got blown sky high too. The games haven't even oficially started yet and 2 people are already gone. Aah well, less competition I guess... Some shreiking trumpet signals it's go time. I step off the pedestal and watch a swarm of people sprint towards the 'thingy-magig'. I run for the closest supplies and weapon I can get. How coincidential, a funking cricket bat! What a bunch of prinks! I run for a supply bag, having to smack a few others over the head with my DEADLY weapon. Then I think to myslef 'It's ear enough the aame as the apocolypse, except they are faster... And have weapons... And can fight back-Ok! Maybe a bit more challenging.' I tie my tie around my head and charge for the other competitors...

S#!T! S#!T! S#!T! Forget that! They've got knifes and swords the length of me! I bolt over to a high tree and start to climb... While falling off several times. I splash a handful of mud on myself for camoflage and hug a tree. As im sitting there, round abouts 15 cannons PEEEENISS! (a/n- sorry HAD to be done! xD) go off. 15 people gone already?! I wonder if I killed anyone, i smashed some guys face in earlier. He kept funking sitting up and grabbing my leg pulling to the ground. Pretty sure he wont be back for me. Some crappy song comes on and the dead peoples ugly mugs are projected in the sky. I see the w#!*er that kept dragging me down. But then a face I recognise comes up in the sky. My heart stops.

The girl from where I live, or my district for the posh blighters... Shes gone. Taken away just like that. Well, they can jog on if they think im gunna murder anyone... Oh wait... I already have. Well, I wont be killing anyone else. I will just have to wait it out until the others are gone. I aint going down without a fight. I open up my bag and see what I have to work with. A empty bottle water - Sirusly?! Why the funk couldnt they fill it, it wouldnt exactly break the bank now would it? An extra pair of socks, yay(!) core blimey! In the name of all things sacred, thats just Grimm! Would it have killed them to wash them?! They smell worse then Dragon poop. And an extra tie... A tie... A tie... A []{}#%^|~_~|,.\|\|€|\^|! TIE! Are you funking kidding me?! They may aswell have given me a knife with note telling me to kill myself and make it good! What the actual funk were they thinking?! Just as I was lashing out on the tree, a small dart enters my head.

"fUUUUUUUUU" i am used to this considering Dianne dashed a dart and it went into my head. But this is something else! I plummet to the ground. Luckily i had the spare tie in my hand, I quickly loop it on a branch and pull myself back up " ooh yeah, like aboss!" I say aloud " total ninja style!. "Come at me brah!" as I say that, the branch falls further and pierces the b*!?#*d through the stomach. "Holy s#!t poor bugger" I shout

I climb back down and search the upright corpse. I nick her knife and bow and arrow. The more ammo I have, the better chance I have... Plus I look like a total badass. The fires, better get moving. The floaty thingy will be here any minute to pick up her remains. I sprint away, not looking back, not a second look, i wouldnt give them the satisfaction. My first mission; find food and water, kill any bugger that gets in my way and most of all, stay alive.

With only 8 of us left, I had better get out there and start woping some assmyself. Maybe then people will start to like me and send me those presents. Ooh! Maybe they will come in pretty little packages. And filled with ponies with rainbow poop! Either way, I need to start catching the others out or im going to be their target. A sudden cannon brings me to a hault. I bolt up the nearest tree and climb as fast as I can. 3 tributes come running around the corner. Crap. I hold my breath, trying to be as quiet as I can. Then it hits me. My bow and arrow! I grab a arrow, take a grip on my bow. Attach the arrow to the bow, pull back the string and... ZING! Headshot! Thankfully, the other 2 don't notice. I pull back another arrow and shoot the next dude near the heart. 2 cannons go off, the last of the trio turns and seesbher friends lieing in a pool of blood. The look on her face as she takes of pierces my soul.

Now I know what you are thinking. What happened to not killing anyone else? Well, what would you do if 23 other f*!#?rs came after you, weapons blazing? It had to be done. I climb down to the dead bodies rapidly before the hover-thingy comes. I search through their packs. 2 full bottles of water and 2 dead cooked birds. What funking luck! I've been running around so much, I completly forgot about food and water. I am so glad that the whole undead disease has gone, or else I would have 3 of the buggers chasing after me. Hungery for revenge. So know i'll just wait until the anthem tonight to see who else has failed the games miserably.

The crappy song comes on again and the faces are shown up in the sky. The 2 kids I killed are up there will 2 others. 4 of us left. The sky goes clear and the air is filled with the sounds of creepy stalking animals that probably wanna rip my guts out as much as the other 3 guys. Then I realise... Guys. All the dudes are dead. Im the only male. Im against a bunch of chicks?! How the funk am I ment to track down girls and kill them? I can't kill a girl! Another cannon makes the ground shake, they mist of found eachother. A face appears in the sky without the anthem. They must be nearabouts ready to end this s#!t. Once again, I climb a tree and try and get a kip before tomorrow. This will be the first bit of sleep I have had in ages. I tie my supplies to the branch and close my eyes. I fall straight asleep. Hoping I don't snore too loud. A few hours pass and I can hear something I really wish I didnt.

A blood cooling scream makes my stomach turn. I immediately sit up and stare down to the ground. All I can see is a group of dark shadowy figures limping and dragging away from a still body, lieing on the ground. The cannon blasts to symbolise her death. Her face appears in the sky. Again, no anthem. Suddenly, the tree begins to sway from side to side. "S#!*ers! They found me!"

Before I know it, im zooming towards the floor at full speed. Frikety funk! That freaking knocked the wind out of me. As I pull myself together, I can see aload of creepers surrounding me. I can't tell who it is. My eyes are blurry from the blow. My vision starts to clear and I see the most terryfying thing ever. Flashbacks start to swarm my mind. Zombies. Freaking zombies! But one of them looks familiar, they cold blue eues, dark brown hair. It can't be. They guy that I killed at the very start. All the other zombies. They are the dead tributes. Frak.

I jump through the feckers and sprint as fast as I can to the Cornucopia. Then I think... For once. That's exactally what they want. This is the finale. They want to bring us together. To battle to the bloody end. Either way, this is nearabouts the only safe place. Plus, I need to het rid of my opponent before she funks me over and I can't be beaten by a girl! I climb on top of the shiny 'butt-hole' only to see her lying there. Unconsious. Tis is my chance. I walk over to her when suddenly a wild zombie appeared (a/n- Yep, pokémon trainer. Boom!) as if to protect her. I look deep into his eyes. It's the boy from her district. I grab my knife, close my eyes and take a swing for his head. A gush of bloodcovers my shirt and face. I can't help but gag. That's when I realise all the other f#!*ers are starting to make a climb for it. I turn back to the dead... Dead zombie and to my surprise, his head sort of reattached to his body.

I jump over the corpse. The unconcious girl is now... Concious. She stands in a daze, unarmed and unprepared. She begins to cry. "Please... Don't..." She whispers. I stare for a moment before mouthing the words "I'm so sorry." And with one clean swing, her body drops to the floor. I stand there and wait for the cannon. Nothing. How the funk can she still be alive?! Zombies are moving in fast. Then I get a idea. Its crazy, but hopefully crazy enough to work. I push the dead girls corpse onto the floor. The zombies immediately jump to the floor for fresh meat. The final connon sounds. "And the winner of the 77th annual hunger games is... SHAUN RILEY!"

i turn back to the zombies but they are already walking back into the woods. Suddenly a big hover craft appears above me. Why is everything so funking bright?! A large ladder comes plummeting down and smacks me in the head. Blackout.

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When i finally wake up, im in some kind of hospital. I look around to see all the other beds are empty, except for the blood stains. Must be where the deceased where layed before being sent home. How long have I been here? I get up to look around when a random male doctor pins me back against the bed (a/n-Ooooohh sensual;) Yep, im also immature...) and jams a needle into my arm. "What the frak was..." Before I can finish the sentence, my head hits the pillow.

Again, I wake up. I sot up and realise im in my room. The onne I first started in. Im in my pyjamas instead of the hospital gown. Someone must of gone out of their way to get me dressed. Bless. I get out of bed, looking around waiting for the jab. But it doesn't come. Free to do whatever I want. I get dressed. I run to the door at the end of the hall and go to knock it, but I stop myself. No one will reply. She's gone. Killed in the early stages of the games. I take a step back. Then turn to walk away. I go into my room, I go back into my room and I just sit there, thinking.

Some guy enter my room and comes over to me. "Im sorry to say to say that your interview with Ceaser Flickerman has been cancelled 'cause he is ill..." Then he leaves. What is so bad about that?! At least I don't have to dress up in some poncy outfit. Does this mean can go home earlier? I sit. Staring In disbelief. Home. Just the thought of it sends shivers down my spone. All of this crap will finally end. I get up, walk down the hallway but stop when i get to the other end. I turn to look at the girl from my districts room. "Sleep tight"

I wait in the hall where I have been served the greatest food ever. I look around. This is All happening too fast. A few days ago, I would have been tracked down by 23 little s#*!es and brutally attacked. Now im just here, sitting. Waiting. Longing to just go home. I walk over to the window and see a woman signally me to come over. This is it. Home time. I quite literally bolt over to the girl and scoop her up. She definately didn't expect it as she let out a giant yelp. I drop her and apologise. "Im just so happy to be going home" I run towards the train and we immediately take off.

How are the games going to affect my life? Will it make me popular or will people loathe me? I feel like a changed man. I wonder if my mum would be proud of me? Proud that I didnt give up. Proud that I kept fighting till the end. Before I know it, the train jolts to a stop, nearly sending me flying. I run to look out the window. I see everyone from my district. Cheering. Screaming my name. They have been waiting for me to return. I step out of the train and wave. Im glad to be back. Glad to be around friends and family. Glad to be alive.

THE END


End file.
